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I find it fascinating that people who choose not to have children are generally assumed to feel really strongly about not having children (or even to feel really strongly against children, anyone’s children, in general). I am probably not going to have children, not because I REALLY REALLY HATE the idea of having children, but because I don’t really really love it. Out of all the major decisions I will make in my life, this one is the only irreversible one. I can sell a house, quit a job, divorce a spouse, whatever. I cannot unhave a child. I cannot opt out of being a parent once I become a parent. I can’t even take a step back for the sake of self-care or whatever, or else my child will suffer.
So for me, having children is fuck yes or not at all. The default will be to remain childfree. Having children should be an opt-in decision, not an opt-out one. Until/unless I develop really strong feelings about wanting to have children, I won’t have them, even if that means I never end up having them at all.
Okay because some of you are children and need to be guided like sheep. The suicide of another person is not about you, it’s about them, their circumstance, feelings, and mental and/or physical health, period. It is an extremely personal and final choice, and it is a person’s own to make. They have that right. Yes it is sad when someone you love leaves you but understand it is not about you and it is extremely selfish and short sighted to make it so. Think about your lowest and dig that thousands of more feet and you cannot even begin to tap into that despair, so really fuck off with that what about me shit because it’s not, nor will it ever be about you.
No, I’m serious, if women all got together and went into electrical engineering or automotive repair en masse, then ten years later people would be talking about how it was a “soft field” and it would pay proportionately less than other fields.
Likewise, if men moved en masse to bedeck themselves in sparkles and make-up, then suddenly you’d get a bunch of editorials talking about how classy they look.
None of these things are inherently masculine or feminine; none of these things inherently elevate you or drag you down. But whatever women are seen to do is automatically seen as being inherently more frivolous than anything men do. And shaming women for not pigeonholing themselves into a narrow range of acceptable “masculine” behaviours is just going to result in the goalposts getting moved once again.
This is literally what happened to basically every field women have entered. The opposite happens when men enter. Computers used to be a “woman thing” until the guys who did it got really mad about how badly their job was viewed and realized they could fix it by forcing out women.
Also happened/ is happening with the fields of biology and psychology….
I honestly wonder how much of the backlash against public education in the last generation has been due to teaching becoming a woman-dominated profession.
Fashion used to be a men’s thing. Then women got involved in the late 17/1800’s, so men went the other way because it came to be seen as “frivolous” and “anti-intellectual” to care about how you looked. Add in the homophobia that arose around that time, bam, staid bland dress. Ditto leggings/tights, that are now called attention-whoring when on men they were required to show you cared about your figure and had the money to pay for such a fitted item.
People want to say misogyny doesn’t exist, that male privilege doesn’t exist. Look beyond “living memory” and you’ll find that’s what drives the “inexplicable reversals” society seems to make on many things. Hell, just look beyond your own society, and you’ll find out that what’s considered “for men” elsewhere is held in high esteem while here it’s scoffed at purely because it’s “for women”:
- Skinny jeans are the height of masculinity in several east Asian societies, rather than being seen as “gay” in the USA because of their association with femininity.
- Medical fields in Russia are valued like kindergarten teachers are here, because it’s women who are the doctors instead of men.
- Love and romance are highly valued in eastern countries, because men are interested in it too—of course they would be, surely you want to share your life with someone? Here, it’s strictly a women’s subject.
The field of anthropology as a whole illustrates this.
Significantly higher proportions of females compared to males are currently entering the fields of archaeology and biological anthropology, and as this occurs, the prestige, funding, acceptance as valid kinds of science, etc, are fading quickly.
This has already occurred with linguistic anthropology and cultural anthropology. Cultural anthropology in particular went VERY quickly from being seen as a manly, scientific discipline (e.g., Franz Boas, Bronisław Malinowski) to being seen as a touchy-feely female thing.
What I get from this is that we should equally distribute ourselves among all fields until we’ve ruined absolutely everything.
ALSO the American devaluation of social sciences (in favor of business and economics which is a shitty unscientific field inasmuch as it refuses to engage with the valid variables of a society’s emotional state and ecology to the degree that said variables have real weight) pisses me the hell off because the conflation of altruism with feminity helps drive it, meaning my society is literally willing to screw itself over and refuse to engage with society in a rational manner just to prove how masculine it is. Like. Hegemonic masculinity demands that feminity preserve civilization just so that it can have fun ruining it like a two year old throwing a tantrum.
And then it turns around gives the coerced but highly fucking vital roles of feminity the respect that its two-year-old temper tantrum deserves.
Binary gendered language is one of those things that often goes unnoticed even at churches that are trying to be LGBTQ inclusive. Breaking the binary is a simple change that can make a difference.
How might you incorporate this language into your prayers, sermons, and church activities?
(Source: Latina Rebel)
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